Buddy the Cuck, DNA Drama, and the Cheating Skank

I’ve got this pal, right? While he was off grindin’ in the army, his so-called “faithful” chick was bangin’ half the town. Dudes were straight-up sendin’ him pics of her messin’ around, the whole damn circus. Then he gets discharged, comes home, and she’s all like, “Oh baby, I waited for you,” with the fake-ass lovey-dovey bullshit. He buys it, of course, struttin’ around all happy and clueless.
Fast forward, seven months after his return, boom—she pops out a kid.
Now people are yellin’ at him, “YOU DUMBASS MOTHERFUCKER!” ‘Cause, like, they hadn’t even seen each other while he was stationed halfway across the damn country, let alone smashed.
She pulls the oldest trick in the book: “Oh, it’s premature, boo-hoo.” Sure, that happens… sometimes.
But hold up—why the hell is this kid GINGER? My boy’s got jet-black hair, and this chick’s a brunette. What’s the deal?
She spins some wild yarn about havin’ Scottish blood in the family. Like, bitch, are you for real?
His mom ain’t havin’ it. She drags this tramp to get a DNA test, shells out a fat stack of cash, and—surprise, surprise—the kid ain’t his.
And this fool? He’s like, “Nah, tests lie, shit happens. I love her, this is my kid, and hell, let’s have another!”
Man, can we just crown this guy the goddamn King of Cucks in Loserland already?!
#cheatingdrama #dnafail #cucklife #wtfmoment