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Got a gal pal with a dude who's a total prude, won't let her go down on him, if you catch my drift!
Haha, yeah, he's got the goods, but ain't sharing the fun.
She's practically begging for it, poor thing...
So, what’s a friend to do but step in, save the day, and let her have a taste of what she’s craving!

🤣 - Man’s digging his own grave!
😐 - Damn, you’re a real piece of work.
#naughty #savage #drama #wtf

So, there I was, at some regional competition in a random-ass city, when nature called with the urgency of a freight train. I storm into what I thought was a shitter, drop trou, and start unloading my burdens like a goddamn champion. Mid-squat, this bathroom—turns out to be a goddamn sanctuary—starts blasting ocean waves and seagull cries through some hidden speaker. I shut my eyes and bam, I’m dropping a deuce right on a sandy beach, wind in my hair, pure bliss. Finished the deed, wiped my ass with some fancy chamomile-scented wet wipes, feeling like royalty. But wait, plot twist—I’m in the freaking women’s restroom! Step out, and there’s a line of chicks staring at me like I just murdered their puppy. They were, let’s say, mildly horrified.

Oh, and about the competition? Snagged myself a bronze, baby!
#bathroomblunder #epicfail #wtf #competitionvibes

D20. So, here’s the wild tale of how I lost my first cherry, and guess what? It was through the back door. Yeah, I figured my pussy was screaming too loud in pain, so I thought, "Hell, if my ass can push out some hefty pythons, surely taking a dick there won’t be such a brutal ordeal!" And damn, somehow it didn’t feel as savage as I expected. I can’t even wrap my head around doing that now, but fuck, I’m itching to relive that thrill with my current guy. 🥺

🤣 - Bet that dude was packing a tiny pickle if I barely felt a thing!
👍 - Gonna pitch some spicy new moves to my man and see if he’s game!
#wildtimes #firsts #spicyadventures #nsfw

I play these clueless dudes like a fiddle, convincing them I’m a pure, untouched virgin during the early days of my cycle. They get off on the thrill of being my "first," and I get to keep up the innocent act, no slut-shaming here, baby! 😉
P.S. Truth is, I’m a total vixen—already had three of these so-called "pioneers" claiming their prize.
#player #savage #mindgames #deception

Dive into the raw, unfiltered tales of first-time romps right here: VIRGIN NO MORE!

Spots are running out fast—only 285 left to claim!
#firsttime #sexstories #rawtruth #nofilter

D23. Hey, shame on me, I need some raw advice. Should I keep the gifts and toys from my exes? I’ve piled up quite a stash from all my past flings, and I’m wondering if it’s totally lame to hold onto this sentimental crap.

👍 - Hell yeah, it’s cringe - toss that shit out or dump it at an orphanage!
🤣 - Keep it, who gives a damn!
#relationshipdrama #exmemories #cringeornot #letitgo

I was cruising through a Zoom interview, nailing every damn question, when suddenly my old man storms into the frame behind me—half-naked in his saggy boxers, scratching his beer belly like a caveman, and letting out a fart so loud it could’ve rattled the windows. The interviewer went dead silent for a solid 15 seconds, probably questioning her life choices, before abruptly ending the call. Holy shit, talk about a trainwreck!
#epicfail #embarrassing #zoomdisaster #cringe

Rewritten Russian text translated to English:

A week back, I had a wild, fleeting fling with a hot MILF, probably around 30-32. We crossed paths in a sweaty club, knocked back a few cocktails, tore up the dance floor, and before I knew it, she was going down on me right in my car. Numbers exchanged, we planned to link up again in a couple of days. I dial her up, and she’s all casual, asking me to scoop her from work. Turns out, she’s on the force—yeah, a cop, as I later discovered. I roll up hyped for some action, park across from a bank, and notice a damn police station to the left. Didn’t think much of it until she struts out in full uniform, hops in my ride, and says, “Let’s head to my place.” We’re cruising, chatting about random bullshit, and I’m thinking, holy fuck, I’ve hit the jackpot—got myself some cop connections, even if it’s just a sergeant. Who gives a shit, right?

We pull up to her crib, sit there in awkward silence—one minute, two, three. I’m like, fuck this cop-spawning nonsense, so I blurt out, “Wanna invite me in for some… tea?” She lets out a heavy sigh, drops her head, and hits me with, “We need to stop this. I’m pregnant—by someone else. This was all a mistake.” Then boom, she swings the door open, steps out, and just walks off. Left me sitting there, dumbfounded, with a boner and no closure—call me “Andy with a hard pastry,” I guess.

Last night, at 2 a.m., she texts me outta nowhere: “Can we meet? Need to talk.” On one hand, she’s a damn fine MILF, sucks like a pro, and those police ties could come in handy. On the other, if I keep banging her, next thing I know, she’ll be begging me to play daddy to her little gremlin. What the hell do I do, folks?

🌭 - Keep smashing, but dodge the kid-raising drama
👍 - Tell her to fuck off
😐 - Take her and the kid, pros might outweigh the cons
#milfdrama #copconnection #unexpectedtwist #whatdoido

Back when I was a sneaky little gremlin, I swiped a pack of condoms from a store, thinking I was some master thief. Got home, and pure panic hit me like a freight train—what if they found this contraband on me? So, genius me decided to stash them in Dad’s bedside drawer, figuring I’d be in the clear. Big mistake. That night, all hell broke loose—Mom and Dad went full nuclear, screaming about divorce, shouting matches echoing through the house like a goddamn war zone. Fast forward, I’m 20 now, and I finally spilled the beans to Mom about my childhood heist. She’s been side-eyeing me ever since, probably wondering what other chaos I’ve got up my sleeve. I’m drowning in shame over here!
#childhoodchaos #familydrama #epicfail #shamefulsecrets

Alright, so check this out, I’m M.17, rolling with my crew—two of my bros and a couple of chicks we vibe with. Man, no clue what kinda wild hair got up our asses, but we figured, screw it, let’s dive into this sketchy-ass river (heads up: it’s basically a sewer dump). We stripped down to our skivvies, no shame in our game. I cannonballed in first, splashing like a damn fool, followed by one of my dudes. Then the two girls jumped in, while our last bro played cameraman, capturing the chaos.

Get this, there were these two old geezers, like 50-something, also swimming in this cesspool, and they straight-up asked our camera guy to film them. Meanwhile, one of our girls stubs her toe, bends over to check it out, and—bam—our bro with the camera swings it right to her ass, zooming in like a perv on a mission.

After we all crawled out of that nasty water, one of my soaked bros peels off his drenched undies, slaps on some shorts commando-style, and starts twirling his wet drawers over his head like he’s some damn cowboy with a lasso. Absolute madness, I’m dying! 🤣
#wtfmoment #riverdisaster #wildcrew #cringelaughs

Hey, if you ever feel like a total loser, a whipped idiot, or a complete jackass, just think of this dude from Moscow who shelled out a whopping 1.5 million rubles for 8,000 damn roses, all to beg for forgiveness from his chick. What a legendary simp move!
#epicfail #simplife #moscowdrama #overthetop

So, this guy has the audacity to call me overly jealous, can you believe it?
But tell me, how the hell am I supposed to stay cool when he’s sneaking off every damn week for “coffee” with his so-called “old college buddy” who, by the way, is head-over-heels obsessed with him?
He swears I’m just making shit up in my head, that I’m crazy.
Am I really overreacting here, or is this just straight-up disrespectful?

😐 - Nah, he’s just chatting, chill out.
🌭 - Hell no, he’s crossing every freaking line.
👍 - Time to play detective and follow his ass once.
#jealousy #drama #relationships #trustissues

D19. Every time I yawn, tears stream down my face like a damn waterfall. Because of this, I’m constantly “sobbing” during classes, and the professors think I’ve got some tragic drama unfolding. They send me home out of pity, and during exams, they just slap an A on my paper without a second thought. Everyone around me assumes I’m a miserable piece of crap, but the raw truth is, I’m just up all night grinding hard in Dota, wrecking noobs till dawn.
#GamerLife #DotaAddict #NightOwl #Misunderstood

So, my girl ain’t putting out, straight-up telling me, “I don’t feel the need right now, and honestly, I’m not even that into it. I’m cool with just getting eaten out.” Meanwhile, I’m over here, fucking desperate to get laid, practically climbing the walls. She hit me with the classic, “As soon as I’m in the mood, I’ll let you know,” but if we’re digging into the past, our first time left her with a damn UTI, and she’s like, “Hell no, I’m not risking that shit again.”

Then she had the audacity to suggest I go buy myself a fucking rubber pussy. Man, that’s just weird as hell to me, feels like some creepy loser shit. So, help me out, folks—what’s the move here?

👍🏻 - Order the damn toy and get some relief
😐 - Keep waiting for her to come around while jerking off in the meantime
#relationshipdrama #sexfrustration #nsfw #whatdoido

Seems I’ve fucked up a nerve or some shit, can’t feel the right side of my body, especially my damn arm.
It’s scary as hell, no lie, but on the bright side, every jerk-off now feels like a stranger’s hand is doing the deed! 🤣
#nerveissues #wtf #darkhumor #unexpectedperk

My childhood buddy’s turned into a monthly leech, hitting me up for cash like clockwork. The amounts ain’t huge, but getting it back is like pulling teeth—constant nagging and that sour-ass face of his. I’m itching to keep the friendship alive, but I’m sick of playing his personal ATM. How do I lay it out straight without torching the bond or staying his damn banker?

👍 - Just tell him to fuck off already
😐 - Nah, keep loaning him your dough
🤣 - Flip the script and start borrowing from him
#friendshipdrama #moneymatters #toughlove #boundaries

So, I’m riding this damn bus, right, and at the far end, there’s this cute-ass boy staring right into my soul with a smirk that’s equal parts creepy and magnetic. I’m thinking, “Holy shit, this is it, we’re about to vibe.” And sure enough, he starts strutting my way, but then—fucking hell—this dumbass steps all over my pristine, fresh-out-the-box white sneakers. And if that wasn’t enough, he pukes right on my jacket, the stench hitting me like a punch. Turns out, the dude was totally hammered... but guess what? We ended up dating anyway! 🤣

admin: Pickup artists, take some damn notes!
#unexpectedlove #busdrama #wtf #romancegonewrong

Hey there, SHAME ALERT!
I’ve got a buddy who’s turning 22 in November,
And get this—he’s never even gotten laid!
What the hell should I do about it?
Hook him up with a pro for his birthday bash,
Or just get him some lame-ass gift instead?

😐 - Go for the boring gift
👍 - Bring in the pro!
#brocode #wildbirthday #nofilter #savage

We were slamming drinks on a random weekday, no fucks given. Started at some dingy café, then rolled into a sweaty, pulsating club. Place was damn near empty, just a ghost town of bad decisions. Wandering around, we spot this lone chick brooding in the corner, looking like she’s got stories to tell. There were three of us, a pack of wolves on the prowl. We sauntered over, threw some smooth lines, and invited her to join the chaos. A few flirty words later, boom, we’re all piling into a steamy sauna, ready to turn up the heat. Decided to go for a wild threesome—hell yeah, she’s game. We head to the back room, where shit’s about to get real.

Everything’s lit, I’m rock hard and raring to go. But then she strips down… and holy shit, I see it. Her lady bits? Man, it’s a fucking nightmare down there—bulging, greasy, like some cursed slug staring back at me. Instant turn-off. My boner dies a tragic death. I’m outta there, quietly grabbing my stuff and bolting for the door, no looking back.

Ladies, for the love of all that’s holy, take care of yourselves. That horrifying snail image is still burned into my damn brain.
#wtf #baddecisions #turnoff #cringe

D18.
So, I’ve been in this wild, long-distance thing with a guy for 4 months, both of us just 18, young and reckless.
We were glued to our phones, chatting non-stop, drowning in love and all that mushy shit.
Finally, the stars aligned, and we got the chance to meet face-to-face.
First damn meeting, and he’s already going down on me, no hesitation.
Two weeks later, bam, he’s at it again, worshipping me like I’m some goddess.
We’re head over heels, and I trust him with my whole damn heart.
But here’s the burning question—am I just cool with this, or does it make me some kind of slut?

👍 - Hell yeah, it’s fine, no big deal!
😢 - Yeah, babe, you’re a slut.
#younglove #relationships #nofilter #sexquestions

I was grinding hard, working shifts, gone for three weeks straight without a sniff of home. Cash was flowing like a damn river, and I brought it all back for her, that treacherous bitch.
Thought I’d pull off a grand romantic gesture, show up early, surprise her ass. Walk in, and boom—there’s my surprise: her prancing around the kitchen in a skimpy robe, and some half-naked bastard pouring coffee like he owns the place.
I bark, “Who the hell is this?!”
She stammers, “Oh, it’s just Sasha… he’s only crashing for the night.”
Meanwhile, right there in the trash, dangling like a sick trophy, is a used condom mocking me.
#betrayal #cheating #rage #savage

I was chilling at my buddy’s birthday bash in a slick loft, everything was pure gold until the vibe got wrecked. Out of nowhere, his chick starts getting all over me—grabbing, groping, the whole damn show—and I’m already locked down in a relationship. I shut that shit down hard, told my mate I felt like crap, and bolted home.

Now, I’m wrestling with this: Did I do right by keeping my own love life and our brotherhood intact? Should I spill the beans to him about this messy situation?

👍🏻 - Hell yeah, man, drop the bomb on your bro about this sneaky broad.
😐 - Keep your trap shut.
#drama #loyalty #brocode #messy

Been rolling with my man for a solid year now, and shit’s getting real—we’re gearing up to shack up together. Yesterday, we hit the stores, and my darling dropped some cash on a pressure cooker for me, tossing out the line, “You’ve earned this, babe.” I was all smiles on the ride home, feeling like a queen, until a dark thought crept in... Did I just suck my way to a damn pressure cooker? Kinda stings, you know? Feels like he’s priced my efforts dirt cheap...
#relationships #savage #harshreality #wtf

Got into a brutal showdown with my stepdad, smashed out a couple of his teeth, and sent his sorry ass straight to the hospital. All because this dumbass decided to fire up his homemade moonshine rig again. Last time, that piece of crap exploded like a damn bomb, nearly torched our whole apartment to ashes, goodbye kitchen. And my mom’s just standing there, shrugging it off like, “Oh, he miscalculated last time, but it’ll be fine now, we need the cash.” What the hell do I do with this mess?

😐 - Let him brew his poison
👍 - Call the cops on his reckless ass
😢 - Pack my shit and bolt to a rented place
#familydrama #moonshinefail #wtf #rage

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#taboo #firsttime #rawstories #uncensored

What a bloody disgrace! Our office kitchen is a shared battlefield, and some sneaky bastard keeps devouring other people’s food like a rabid wolf. Not out of sheer audacity, mind you, but with a lame-ass excuse like, “Oops, thought it was mine.” My damn yogurts vanish every single time. I even scrawled “DO NOT TOUCH” on one, but guess what? Some greedy fucker still gobbled it down.
Who the hell is it? No clue.

😢 - Just suck it up, what can ya do?
👍 - I’m whipping up a killer lasagna and a badass pie, but here’s the twist—laced with laxatives to teach these thieves a shitty lesson!
#officewars #foodthief #revengeplot #savage

I threw up a wild ad on Avito, screaming, "I’ll dump a steaming pile right at your enemy’s doorstep!" Thought it was just a sick joke, tossed it out there, and forgot about it. But holy crap, people are actually hitting me up, ready to shell out 500 rubles for this twisted service! They send the address, I sneak into the building like a goddamn ninja, hunt down the target apartment, drop the load, and snap a pic of the glorious "deposit" for proof. 😂
#prankster #savage #wtf #darkhumor

Hey there. My neighbor’s kid is a freaking banshee, screaming bloody murder for hours on end. The whole damn building echoes with those shrieks. The guy next door? He’s chill, no beef there, but I’m grinding from home, and this noise is driving me up the damn wall. It’s like the kid’s wailing right in my freaking room with how thin these walls are.

I shot him a message on chat, and his reply? “It’s just a kid, suck it up.”
Like, what the hell am I supposed to do with that?

😐-Just shrug it off, wait for the little demon to grow out of it
👍-Blast some heavy metal at max volume to fight fire with fire
🤣-Pack my shit and get the hell outta here
#AnnoyingNeighbors #ScreamingKids #WorkFromHomeHell #NoisePollution

I can still recall being 18, drowning in panic over the fact that I was still a damn virgin. Desperate to shed that label, I hooked up with a guy through some random ad—he was a good decade older, guarding a dusty old bookstore for a living. Of course, I fed him the classic lie that I’d been with guys before. Gotta save face, right? So, in a wild moment of desperation, I grabbed a freaking roll-on deodorant and took matters into my own hands, popping my own cherry. Barely any blood, thank god.

Later, we planned the real deal. I was a total disaster—awkward as hell, stiff as a board, and hated every second of it. Lucky for me, he didn’t catch on to my rookie status. And just like that, I ditched my virginity in the most unglamorous way possible.
#virginitystories #firsttime #awkwardsex #novice