The Ultimate Blowjob and How to Land It

If you ever feel like a complete jackass, just think of me. I attempted the impossible—trying to suck myself off, stretching my body to the limit. I nearly kissed the tip, lips trembling close to glory, when a savage pain ripped through my side. I hobbled around for days, wondering if I’d pulled some muscle or worse. Turns out, I ended up in the hospital with a fucking ruptured spleen. What a goddamn adventure!
#epicfail #wtf #selfsuck #hospitalhorror