So, the girl I’ve been obsessed with since I was 16 finally hits me up. This woman is pure fire, a goddamn fantasy in the flesh, the kind of sexy that haunts your wet dreams. I’m thinking, “Hell yeah, it’s go-time, I’m getting laid tonight!” I scrub my place spotless, turning my apartment into a damn shrine, snag a pack of condoms, and prep like I’m about to win the sex Olympics. We agree to meet at my crib, she shows up, we crack open some beers, light up a few smokes. An hour or so passes, vibes are mellow, and then boom, we’re diving straight into the main event. No foreplay, no teasing, just raw, straight-to-the-point fucking. But here’s the kicker—my soldier won’t stand to attention. Fucking hell, I’m lying there, useless, unable to bang the girl of my dreams. What a brutal, soul-crushing disaster!
#epicfail #sexualdisaster #dreamgirl #wtf