Summer of 2005. I’m just a scrawny kid with a jacked-up gut (constipation dragging on for a week or two, no less). Mom hands me some laxative, says, “Go play outside,” like that’s not a recipe for disaster. What could possibly go wrong, right? :) Nah, I didn’t shit myself on the street, but damn, it got close. The urge hit me like a freight train, so I bolted home, sweating bullets, waiting forever for Mom to buzz me in through the intercom, then for the freaking elevator to show up...

And guess what? I couldn’t hold it. I wasn’t about to ruin my undies, so as the inevitable started slipping out, I yanked ‘em down and unleashed a steaming pile—right in front of the elevator door. The very second that turd hit the concrete with a glorious thud, the elevator doors slid open, and there they were: three pairs of stunned, gorgeous eyes staring right at me in absolute horror.

Drop a 👍 if you wanna hear about the time I took a dump in a bulletproof vest, smack in the middle of the road during winter.
#epicfail #shithappens #cringemoment #childhoodtrauma

Day 25. Got a tale about an old buddy of mine that’ll make you cringe and cackle. A bunch of us got together for a “classy” night of boozing—or, well, not so classy. Next morning, this absolute legend wakes up with a blank slate, no clue what went down. Turns out, the madman had been rolling around in God-knows-where, caked in filth, and the apartment? It reeked like a goddamn sewer. Why, you ask?

In the dead of night, half-asleep and still smashed, this genius felt nature’s call—the big one. In his drunken stupor, he somehow mistook a fancy-ass, top-dollar gaming chair (belonging to the host, no less) for the damn toilet. Yeah, he did his dirty deed right there, dumped a load on that poor chair, then just stumbled back to crash. Come morning, the horror show was revealed: shit was literally dripping down his legs, smeared across the bed, the floor, everywhere. It was a complete and utter shitstorm, folks. Absolute insanity! 🤣
#epicfail #drunkstories #wtf #shithappens