I used to work at this little veggie shop, and damn, after my shifts, I’d get a bit naughty—snatching cucumbers from the display, one at first, then hell, even two at a time slid in just fine. Got bold and went for an eggplant, and from there, it was a wild ride. Of course, I washed the veggies before tossing them back on the counter; nobody ever suspected a thing. One night, after closing, the owner—a rough Armenian dude—and his two buddies caught me red-handed. They figured they’d “teach me a lesson” and take advantage. But after all the veggies I’d bee...