Total Fucking Chaos

Back in the day, I was paranoid as hell, convinced my parents had hidden cameras stashed everywhere to catch me jerking off. So, every time I finished, I’d flip the bird in every damn direction—just in case, you know, shit hit the fan. Fast forward to now, I’m desperate for space on my computer, having stuffed it full of games. My old man casually mentions there’s a hard drive lying around in the closet. I dig through the mess, find the damn thing, and plug it in. And guess what the fuck I stumble upon? Videos of me, clear as day, wanking away and then flipping off the camera like some rebellious punk.
#wtf #busted #cringe #fml

Alright, so I’m 21, not some hideous troll, got a decent figure, everything’s in place, and my rep is squeaky clean.

But today, holy shit, it hit me like a brick—I’m straight-up repelling guys, and I’ve got no damn clue why. Let me paint the picture for you. We’re chilling with a crew, vibes are casual, and somehow my friend and I end up crashing on a bed where this dude’s already sprawled out. Later, he dips to sleep in another room, but then comes back and slides in next to me. So, we’re just lying there, right? Then my friend strolls in, aiming to squeeze by the wall, but nope, she plops right in the middle. Next thing I know, this guy’s got his arms around her, and they’re out cold, cuddling like I’m invisible. I’m just lying there, feeling like a third wheel, until the mattress starts shaking and the bed creaks like a haunted house. Yeah, I got the hint—I’m the odd one out. So, I dragged my ass to another room to sleep off the humiliation.
#awkward #thirdwheel #rejection #fml