Rewritten Russian text translated to English:

A week back, I had a wild, fleeting fling with a hot MILF, probably around 30-32. We crossed paths in a sweaty club, knocked back a few cocktails, tore up the dance floor, and before I knew it, she was going down on me right in my car. Numbers exchanged, we planned to link up again in a couple of days. I dial her up, and she’s all casual, asking me to scoop her from work. Turns out, she’s on the force—yeah, a cop, as I later discovered. I roll up hyped for some action, park across from a bank, and notice a damn police station to the left. Didn’t think much of it until she struts out in full uniform, hops in my ride, and says, “Let’s head to my place.” We’re cruising, chatting about random bullshit, and I’m thinking, holy fuck, I’ve hit the jackpot—got myself some cop connections, even if it’s just a sergeant. Who gives a shit, right?

We pull up to her crib, sit there in awkward silence—one minute, two, three. I’m like, fuck this cop-spawning nonsense, so I blurt out, “Wanna invite me in for some… tea?” She lets out a heavy sigh, drops her head, and hits me with, “We need to stop this. I’m pregnant—by someone else. This was all a mistake.” Then boom, she swings the door open, steps out, and just walks off. Left me sitting there, dumbfounded, with a boner and no closure—call me “Andy with a hard pastry,” I guess.

Last night, at 2 a.m., she texts me outta nowhere: “Can we meet? Need to talk.” On one hand, she’s a damn fine MILF, sucks like a pro, and those police ties could come in handy. On the other, if I keep banging her, next thing I know, she’ll be begging me to play daddy to her little gremlin. What the hell do I do, folks?

🌭 - Keep smashing, but dodge the kid-raising drama
👍 - Tell her to fuck off
😐 - Take her and the kid, pros might outweigh the cons
#milfdrama #copconnection #unexpectedtwist #whatdoido

Back in the day, there was this chick from my class living next door. We barely exchanged a word back then. But when I moved away for studies, shit got real—we started spilling our guts about everything, diving deep into the freaky stuff that gets us going, like wild fetishes and kinky fantasies. So, we made this dirty little pact: when I roll back into town, we’re gonna fuck like there’s no tomorrow. And damn, her body? Pure fire.

Guess what fucking happened next? A week before I was set to show up, I got myself a girlfriend. But, holy shit, it’s been ages, and I’m still itching to bang this old flame. What the hell do I do with this mess?

👍- Screw it, just enjoy the relationship and chill
🌭- Close the damn chapter and smash her already
🤣- Bro, you’ve lost your damn mind🫵
#lust #temptation #drama #wtf

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Shame on my buddy for being so damn desperate to lose his virginity that he stooped to the lowest of lows. This dude, rejected by everyone, decided to proposition a homeless chick for a quick screw in exchange for a pack of smokes and a bottle of cheap vodka. He’s got the nerve to say, “Yo, she’s only 37, showed me her ID, total MILF material.”
Meanwhile, this so-called “MILF” looks like she’s been rode hard and put away wet—more like 60, if we’re being real.
#desperate #wtf #cringe #noshaming

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