Regarding those wild stories about threesomes.

Back in the day, I was slinging drinks as a waiter in a real dive joint, a place dripping with sleaze. There was this crew of three chicks at a table, and one of ‘em kept tossing flirty glances my way. By the end of the night, she straight-up invited me back to her place. I turned her down, though—back then, I was more into paying for quick thrills with pros. A couple of days later, craving some action to blow off steam, I headed to a familiar spot. When the door swung open, I got a weird-ass look before they slammed it in my face. Pissed off, I plopped down on a bench near the building, puffing on a smoke, when a text buzzed in: “Come back up.”

I trudged back, and holy hell, it was two of those gals from the other night! Well, no backing out now. We got down to some serious bedroom cardio with one of them. After the deed, the three of us stepped out to the balcony for a smoke, and one of the chicks casually throws out the idea of a threesome. Who the fuck am I to say no, especially when it’s on the house? So yeah, I ended up banging two of ‘em, no regrets.

Fast forward to the spicy follow-up.
About six or seven months later, I’m out with a buddy, looking to let loose again. We roll up to the same spot, and I nearly shit myself when one of those same chicks opens the door. What’s a guy to do? Me and my pal took turns with her, tag-teaming like champs.

Life’s one hell of a ride, ain’t it?
#wildtimes #threesome #nsfw #noregrets

I once had a pal—yeah, “had” is the keyword here, and you’ll soon get why. One day, his old man kicked the bucket, and I figured I’d be the good guy, lift his spirits, ya know? So I dropped this gem on him:
“Chin up, man, you’ve still got a spare dad, right?”
Well, that was the last time we ever spoke.
I still feel like a complete jackass about it, though.
#awkward #footinmouth #regret #epicfail

D23. So, I decided to knit a sweater for my boyfriend’s birthday, pouring my heart and soul into it for months. Finally, I hand it over, and what do I get? A sour, ungrateful smirk on his damn face. “What the hell? I don’t even wear crap like this, and winter’s ages away (fucking ages away).” I also splurged on some badass gaming headphones for him, but since we’ve had a massive blowout, I’m seriously tempted to just return them with the receipt and say screw it.

😐 - Hand over the gift, make peace
👍 - Return the headphones, no regrets
#relationshipsuck #giftfail #drama #savage

Met this chick at a wild house party, ended up banging her brains out.
A month later, she hits me up with a bombshell: "I’m knocked up."
I’m fucking floored, but whatever, if it’s true, we’ll figure this shit out.

Another month drags by, and I get a damn call from the courthouse.
Turns out, this girl slapped me with a child support claim, naming me as the daddy.
And get this—DNA test? "Not required" until the court drama kicks off.
Meanwhile, my bank account’s already frozen, what the actual fuck!

I screwed her just once, wrapped up tight in a rubber, and now I’m shelling out cash for some kid that probably ain’t even mine,
waiting for the slow-ass court to pull its head out of its ass and make a ruling.
Word of advice, brothers—don’t stick it in these shady hoes, or you’ll regret it hard. 😡
#drama #childsupport #screwed #wtf