The Struggles of a Man Packing a 22-cm Beast

So, here’s the raw deal: my live-in girlfriend outright refuses to get down and dirty with me. She straight-up says she’s not into it, doesn’t enjoy it, and it friggin’ hurts her because, well, I’m hauling around a hefty 22 cm down there (yeah, I know, it’s a lot to handle).
I’m losing my damn mind over this. I can’t just live like a monk, you know? She’s throwing out the idea of splitting up, but fuck, I don’t want to lose her either. I’m stuck in this messed-up limbo, not knowing what the hell to do.
Back when we started dating, we did have sex, but she was never into it—always complaining it wasn’t her thing—so over time, we just stopped completely. I’m her first, by the way, so no experience on her end. And before you ask, I’m 100% sure she’s not stepping out on me.
What’s a guy supposed to do with this kind of equipment when the love of his life can’t handle the ride?
#relationshipstruggles #sexproblems #bigissues #lovewoes

My boyfriend keeps nagging me to lock eyes with him during blowjobs and certain sex positions, but damn, I just can’t do it! I’m shy as hell—yeah, we’ve been together for ages, but we only recently started getting down and dirty, plus he’s my first. On top of that, my eyesight is absolute garbage, like -7 bad. I can’t even make out his face, let alone figure out where the hell I’m supposed to stare!

😐 - Just tell him, girl.
🤣 - Screw it, gaze into the freaking void.
#relationshipstruggles #intimacyissues #badeyesight #awkwardmoments

Here’s the wild predicament I’m stuck in: my girlfriend can’t sleep unless the damn lights are blazing like a freaking stadium. I haven’t had a proper night’s rest in two months, my eyes are burning from the relentless glare of that infernal lamp, but she just shrugs and says, “I’m scared of the dark, deal with it.”
What the hell am I supposed to do, folks?

😐 - Get a dim nightlight and sweet-talk her into using that instead of a bloody spotlight
👍 - Slap on an eye mask and pretend I’m a damn pirate just to get some shut-eye
😢 - Abandon ship and crash on the couch like a defeated man
#relationshipstruggles #sleeplessnights #lightphobia #helpme

So, I recently shacked up with my dude, and let me tell ya, day-to-day life is pure bliss. I’ve never met a guy so level-headed, chill, and downright amazing. But holy freaking hell, I’m still reeling in absolute horror every time I sort through the laundry. How, just HOW, can someone wipe their ass so damn poorly that every pair of undies is a freaking crime scene of shit stains? And this is a man who showers multiple times a day! I’ve already stealthily trashed half his underwear collection under the cover of darkness. Hell, I even went out and bought wet toilet paper to save us from this nightmare! Lord almighty, why have I been cursed with this shit-smeared disgrace of a man? 😂
#relationshipstruggles #laundryhorror #wtf #gross