Epic relationships look like this, straight outta some wild-ass movie:

I invited this chick for a booze-fest, her first time chugging vodka, and holy shit, we got completely trashed. Ended up getting matching ink, fucking tattoos, man!
She bailed home after only getting half a line of the design done, while I, being the badass I am, got the whole damn thing. Whatever, no biggie. I slammed a ton more shots, got absolutely wrecked, and we stumbled to her place. I felt like absolute garbage, like death was knocking. In her damn stairwell, she went down on me, no shame. Then we dragged ourselves to her crib. I was done for, hurled my guts out like 4 or 5 times at her place, then crashed hard.
Middle of the night, I wake up, she’s just sneaking back into bed. I nudge her awake, and boom, we’re going at it. By 8 AM, I’m out on the street, brain-fried, wondering what the hell to do next.
Fast forward, it’s been 3 months of this crazy ride together 😎
#wildtimes #trashed #tattoomistakes #relationshipgoals

So, after a grueling day at work, my crew and I decided to blow off some steam and hit up a wild party at this sprawling countryside mansion. The vibes were electric—booze flowing like a damn river, bodies grinding on the dance floor, pure chaos in the best way. But then, shit hit the fan. Our mutual friend, this chick who’s supposedly waiting for her soldier boyfriend to come back from duty, got completely trashed and vanished into the shadows with some random dude.

Curiosity—and yeah, a bit of righteous fury—got the better of me. I tracked them down, only to find them in a spare room, already half-naked and tangled up like they were auditioning for a damn porn flick. I gave it a hot second, then stormed in like a bull, tossed the guy out on his sorry ass, and smacked some sense into her with a sharp slap. I laid it out cold: “You better beg for forgiveness from your man, or when he’s back, I’ll spill every filthy detail myself.”

I get it, I could nuke her relationship by opening my mouth. Hell, I probably won’t say a word in the end. But damn, I feel for the guy. If she’s pulling this kind of betrayal now, who’s to say she won’t do it again? Loyalty’s a rare fucking gem, and she’s tossing it in the dirt.
#betrayal #partyfail #drama #loyalty

So, I recently shacked up with my dude, and let me tell ya, day-to-day life is pure bliss. I’ve never met a guy so level-headed, chill, and downright amazing. But holy freaking hell, I’m still reeling in absolute horror every time I sort through the laundry. How, just HOW, can someone wipe their ass so damn poorly that every pair of undies is a freaking crime scene of shit stains? And this is a man who showers multiple times a day! I’ve already stealthily trashed half his underwear collection under the cover of darkness. Hell, I even went out and bought wet toilet paper to save us from this nightmare! Lord almighty, why have I been cursed with this shit-smeared disgrace of a man? 😂
#relationshipstruggles #laundryhorror #wtf #gross