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So, there I was, at some regional competition in a random-ass city, when nature called with the urgency of a freight train. I storm into what I thought was a shitter, drop trou, and start unloading my burdens like a goddamn champion. Mid-squat, this bathroom—turns out to be a goddamn sanctuary—starts blasting ocean waves and seagull cries through some hidden speaker. I shut my eyes and bam, I’m dropping a deuce right on a sandy beach, wind in my hair, pure bliss. Finished the deed, wiped my ass with some fancy chamomile-scented wet wipes, feeling like royalty. But wait, plot twist—I’m in the freaking women’s restroom! Step out, and there’s a line of chicks staring at me like I just murdered their puppy. They were, let’s say, mildly horrified.

Oh, and about the competition? Snagged myself a bronze, baby!
#bathroomblunder #epicfail #wtf #competitionvibes

D20. So, here’s the wild tale of how I lost my first cherry, and guess what? It was through the back door. Yeah, I figured my pussy was screaming too loud in pain, so I thought, "Hell, if my ass can push out some hefty pythons, surely taking a dick there won’t be such a brutal ordeal!" And damn, somehow it didn’t feel as savage as I expected. I can’t even wrap my head around doing that now, but fuck, I’m itching to relive that thrill with my current guy. 🥺

🤣 - Bet that dude was packing a tiny pickle if I barely felt a thing!
👍 - Gonna pitch some spicy new moves to my man and see if he’s game!
#wildtimes #firsts #spicyadventures #nsfw

I play these clueless dudes like a fiddle, convincing them I’m a pure, untouched virgin during the early days of my cycle. They get off on the thrill of being my "first," and I get to keep up the innocent act, no slut-shaming here, baby! 😉
P.S. Truth is, I’m a total vixen—already had three of these so-called "pioneers" claiming their prize.
#player #savage #mindgames #deception

Dive into the raw, unfiltered tales of first-time romps right here: VIRGIN NO MORE!

Spots are running out fast—only 285 left to claim!
#firsttime #sexstories #rawtruth #nofilter

Rewritten Russian text translated to English:

A week back, I had a wild, fleeting fling with a hot MILF, probably around 30-32. We crossed paths in a sweaty club, knocked back a few cocktails, tore up the dance floor, and before I knew it, she was going down on me right in my car. Numbers exchanged, we planned to link up again in a couple of days. I dial her up, and she’s all casual, asking me to scoop her from work. Turns out, she’s on the force—yeah, a cop, as I later discovered. I roll up hyped for some action, park across from a bank, and notice a damn police station to the left. Didn’t think much of it until she struts out in full uniform, hops in my ride, and says, “Let’s head to my place.” We’re cruising, chatting about random bullshit, and I’m thinking, holy fuck, I’ve hit the jackpot—got myself some cop connections, even if it’s just a sergeant. Who gives a shit, right?

We pull up to her crib, sit there in awkward silence—one minute, two, three. I’m like, fuck this cop-spawning nonsense, so I blurt out, “Wanna invite me in for some… tea?” She lets out a heavy sigh, drops her head, and hits me with, “We need to stop this. I’m pregnant—by someone else. This was all a mistake.” Then boom, she swings the door open, steps out, and just walks off. Left me sitting there, dumbfounded, with a boner and no closure—call me “Andy with a hard pastry,” I guess.

Last night, at 2 a.m., she texts me outta nowhere: “Can we meet? Need to talk.” On one hand, she’s a damn fine MILF, sucks like a pro, and those police ties could come in handy. On the other, if I keep banging her, next thing I know, she’ll be begging me to play daddy to her little gremlin. What the hell do I do, folks?

🌭 - Keep smashing, but dodge the kid-raising drama
👍 - Tell her to fuck off
😐 - Take her and the kid, pros might outweigh the cons
#milfdrama #copconnection #unexpectedtwist #whatdoido

Back when I was a sneaky little gremlin, I swiped a pack of condoms from a store, thinking I was some master thief. Got home, and pure panic hit me like a freight train—what if they found this contraband on me? So, genius me decided to stash them in Dad’s bedside drawer, figuring I’d be in the clear. Big mistake. That night, all hell broke loose—Mom and Dad went full nuclear, screaming about divorce, shouting matches echoing through the house like a goddamn war zone. Fast forward, I’m 20 now, and I finally spilled the beans to Mom about my childhood heist. She’s been side-eyeing me ever since, probably wondering what other chaos I’ve got up my sleeve. I’m drowning in shame over here!
#childhoodchaos #familydrama #epicfail #shamefulsecrets

Alright, so check this out, I’m M.17, rolling with my crew—two of my bros and a couple of chicks we vibe with. Man, no clue what kinda wild hair got up our asses, but we figured, screw it, let’s dive into this sketchy-ass river (heads up: it’s basically a sewer dump). We stripped down to our skivvies, no shame in our game. I cannonballed in first, splashing like a damn fool, followed by one of my dudes. Then the two girls jumped in, while our last bro played cameraman, capturing the chaos.

Get this, there were these two old geezers, like 50-something, also swimming in this cesspool, and they straight-up asked our camera guy to film them. Meanwhile, one of our girls stubs her toe, bends over to check it out, and—bam—our bro with the camera swings it right to her ass, zooming in like a perv on a mission.

After we all crawled out of that nasty water, one of my soaked bros peels off his drenched undies, slaps on some shorts commando-style, and starts twirling his wet drawers over his head like he’s some damn cowboy with a lasso. Absolute madness, I’m dying! 🤣
#wtfmoment #riverdisaster #wildcrew #cringelaughs

So, this guy has the audacity to call me overly jealous, can you believe it?
But tell me, how the hell am I supposed to stay cool when he’s sneaking off every damn week for “coffee” with his so-called “old college buddy” who, by the way, is head-over-heels obsessed with him?
He swears I’m just making shit up in my head, that I’m crazy.
Am I really overreacting here, or is this just straight-up disrespectful?

😐 - Nah, he’s just chatting, chill out.
🌭 - Hell no, he’s crossing every freaking line.
👍 - Time to play detective and follow his ass once.
#jealousy #drama #relationships #trustissues

D19. Every time I yawn, tears stream down my face like a damn waterfall. Because of this, I’m constantly “sobbing” during classes, and the professors think I’ve got some tragic drama unfolding. They send me home out of pity, and during exams, they just slap an A on my paper without a second thought. Everyone around me assumes I’m a miserable piece of crap, but the raw truth is, I’m just up all night grinding hard in Dota, wrecking noobs till dawn.
#GamerLife #DotaAddict #NightOwl #Misunderstood

So, my girl ain’t putting out, straight-up telling me, “I don’t feel the need right now, and honestly, I’m not even that into it. I’m cool with just getting eaten out.” Meanwhile, I’m over here, fucking desperate to get laid, practically climbing the walls. She hit me with the classic, “As soon as I’m in the mood, I’ll let you know,” but if we’re digging into the past, our first time left her with a damn UTI, and she’s like, “Hell no, I’m not risking that shit again.”

Then she had the audacity to suggest I go buy myself a fucking rubber pussy. Man, that’s just weird as hell to me, feels like some creepy loser shit. So, help me out, folks—what’s the move here?

👍🏻 - Order the damn toy and get some relief
😐 - Keep waiting for her to come around while jerking off in the meantime
#relationshipdrama #sexfrustration #nsfw #whatdoido

Seems I’ve fucked up a nerve or some shit, can’t feel the right side of my body, especially my damn arm.
It’s scary as hell, no lie, but on the bright side, every jerk-off now feels like a stranger’s hand is doing the deed! 🤣
#nerveissues #wtf #darkhumor #unexpectedperk

So, I’m riding this damn bus, right, and at the far end, there’s this cute-ass boy staring right into my soul with a smirk that’s equal parts creepy and magnetic. I’m thinking, “Holy shit, this is it, we’re about to vibe.” And sure enough, he starts strutting my way, but then—fucking hell—this dumbass steps all over my pristine, fresh-out-the-box white sneakers. And if that wasn’t enough, he pukes right on my jacket, the stench hitting me like a punch. Turns out, the dude was totally hammered... but guess what? We ended up dating anyway! 🤣

admin: Pickup artists, take some damn notes!
#unexpectedlove #busdrama #wtf #romancegonewrong

Hey there, SHAME ALERT!
I’ve got a buddy who’s turning 22 in November,
And get this—he’s never even gotten laid!
What the hell should I do about it?
Hook him up with a pro for his birthday bash,
Or just get him some lame-ass gift instead?

😐 - Go for the boring gift
👍 - Bring in the pro!
#brocode #wildbirthday #nofilter #savage

We were slamming drinks on a random weekday, no fucks given. Started at some dingy café, then rolled into a sweaty, pulsating club. Place was damn near empty, just a ghost town of bad decisions. Wandering around, we spot this lone chick brooding in the corner, looking like she’s got stories to tell. There were three of us, a pack of wolves on the prowl. We sauntered over, threw some smooth lines, and invited her to join the chaos. A few flirty words later, boom, we’re all piling into a steamy sauna, ready to turn up the heat. Decided to go for a wild threesome—hell yeah, she’s game. We head to the back room, where shit’s about to get real.

Everything’s lit, I’m rock hard and raring to go. But then she strips down… and holy shit, I see it. Her lady bits? Man, it’s a fucking nightmare down there—bulging, greasy, like some cursed slug staring back at me. Instant turn-off. My boner dies a tragic death. I’m outta there, quietly grabbing my stuff and bolting for the door, no looking back.

Ladies, for the love of all that’s holy, take care of yourselves. That horrifying snail image is still burned into my damn brain.
#wtf #baddecisions #turnoff #cringe

D18.
So, I’ve been in this wild, long-distance thing with a guy for 4 months, both of us just 18, young and reckless.
We were glued to our phones, chatting non-stop, drowning in love and all that mushy shit.
Finally, the stars aligned, and we got the chance to meet face-to-face.
First damn meeting, and he’s already going down on me, no hesitation.
Two weeks later, bam, he’s at it again, worshipping me like I’m some goddess.
We’re head over heels, and I trust him with my whole damn heart.
But here’s the burning question—am I just cool with this, or does it make me some kind of slut?

👍 - Hell yeah, it’s fine, no big deal!
😢 - Yeah, babe, you’re a slut.
#younglove #relationships #nofilter #sexquestions

I was chilling at my buddy’s birthday bash in a slick loft, everything was pure gold until the vibe got wrecked. Out of nowhere, his chick starts getting all over me—grabbing, groping, the whole damn show—and I’m already locked down in a relationship. I shut that shit down hard, told my mate I felt like crap, and bolted home.

Now, I’m wrestling with this: Did I do right by keeping my own love life and our brotherhood intact? Should I spill the beans to him about this messy situation?

👍🏻 - Hell yeah, man, drop the bomb on your bro about this sneaky broad.
😐 - Keep your trap shut.
#drama #loyalty #brocode #messy

Been rolling with my man for a solid year now, and shit’s getting real—we’re gearing up to shack up together. Yesterday, we hit the stores, and my darling dropped some cash on a pressure cooker for me, tossing out the line, “You’ve earned this, babe.” I was all smiles on the ride home, feeling like a queen, until a dark thought crept in... Did I just suck my way to a damn pressure cooker? Kinda stings, you know? Feels like he’s priced my efforts dirt cheap...
#relationships #savage #harshreality #wtf

Got into a brutal showdown with my stepdad, smashed out a couple of his teeth, and sent his sorry ass straight to the hospital. All because this dumbass decided to fire up his homemade moonshine rig again. Last time, that piece of crap exploded like a damn bomb, nearly torched our whole apartment to ashes, goodbye kitchen. And my mom’s just standing there, shrugging it off like, “Oh, he miscalculated last time, but it’ll be fine now, we need the cash.” What the hell do I do with this mess?

😐 - Let him brew his poison
👍 - Call the cops on his reckless ass
😢 - Pack my shit and bolt to a rented place
#familydrama #moonshinefail #wtf #rage

Dive into the raw, unfiltered tales of losing your virginity right here: NO LONGER A VIRGIN!

Spots are running out fast—only 185 left to claim!
#taboo #firsttime #rawstories #uncensored

What a bloody disgrace! Our office kitchen is a shared battlefield, and some sneaky bastard keeps devouring other people’s food like a rabid wolf. Not out of sheer audacity, mind you, but with a lame-ass excuse like, “Oops, thought it was mine.” My damn yogurts vanish every single time. I even scrawled “DO NOT TOUCH” on one, but guess what? Some greedy fucker still gobbled it down.
Who the hell is it? No clue.

😢 - Just suck it up, what can ya do?
👍 - I’m whipping up a killer lasagna and a badass pie, but here’s the twist—laced with laxatives to teach these thieves a shitty lesson!
#officewars #foodthief #revengeplot #savage

Hey there. My neighbor’s kid is a freaking banshee, screaming bloody murder for hours on end. The whole damn building echoes with those shrieks. The guy next door? He’s chill, no beef there, but I’m grinding from home, and this noise is driving me up the damn wall. It’s like the kid’s wailing right in my freaking room with how thin these walls are.

I shot him a message on chat, and his reply? “It’s just a kid, suck it up.”
Like, what the hell am I supposed to do with that?

😐-Just shrug it off, wait for the little demon to grow out of it
👍-Blast some heavy metal at max volume to fight fire with fire
🤣-Pack my shit and get the hell outta here
#AnnoyingNeighbors #ScreamingKids #WorkFromHomeHell #NoisePollution

📌 Unlocking the Power of Data Structures: Your Ultimate Beginner’s Guide to Arrays (Part 1)

The Pursuit of Knowledge
Alright, let's be real here. The best way to learn "difficult" concepts (well actually they're not actually that scary until you get exposure) is to be passionate and embrace being a complete beginner. Also, asking what everyone calls "stupid questions" will actuall...

🔗 Подробнее: https://www.roastdev.com/p...

Back in 2017, I was just a second-year student, and damn, did things get wild. We got this smoking hot new IT teacher, barely 25, rocking those scandalously short skirts like she owned the place. Every class, man, it was torture—she’d strut around, and I’d be rock hard, no escape. Ended up sneaking off to the bathroom to handle business, if you catch my drift.
#hotteacher #collegevibes #wildmemories #nsfw

My mom asked me to pick up her friend from the train station and lug her suitcase. I roll up, and out struts this stunning woman, about 45, all polished and classy. She locks eyes with me and purrs, "Oh, aren’t you just gorgeous..."

All the way home, she’s cracking jokes, playfully brushing my arm, giggling like we’re old pals. Then, out of nowhere, she leans in close, her voice dripping with suggestion, and whispers, "You’re quite the grown-up boy, aren’t you?" She caps it off with an invite for tea at her place. Mom trusts her completely.

Now what the hell do I do?

🌭 - Take the bait and go for that "tea," since she’s practically begging for it
🤣 - Call Mom and make her deal with this flirty mess herself
#flirtgonewild #awkwardvibes #momstrustissues #teatemptation

While rummaging around for something I needed, I stumbled upon a wild stash of dildos tucked away in my mom’s couch, clearly for her private pleasure. I confronted her about it, and she flipped out, shrieking like a banshee, denying everything and insisting I must’ve imagined it. Come on, I’m not blind—there’s no way I dreamed up something that damn vivid! But when I sneaky-checked the couch again later, the evidence had vanished. My mom’s a crafty fox, isn’t she? 😜
#familysecrets #awkwardmoment #sneaky #wtf

P18. I’m decked out like a full-on metalhead—chains dangling, wristbands stacked, torn-up jeans, hair spiked to the heavens, combat boots stomping, and a t-shirt screaming my favorite band’s name. So, I’m riding the subway today, blasting my killer tunes through my headphones, when I notice this cute chick sitting across from me. As usual, I’m lost in my own damn world, ignoring everything and everyone, just vibing. I get up to hop off at my stop, and outta nowhere, I catch a hand waving at me from the right. I turn my head, and there she is—this girl, holding out her phone with a note open on the screen. I squint to read it, and holy shit, it says, “You look insanely cool.”

Man, I turned redder than a devil’s ass, completely flustered! Now I’m kicking myself for being such a dumbass and missing the chance to chat her up.
#metalhead #missedchance #subwaystories #badassvibes

We’re getting slammed with a flood of wild stories from girls spilling the dirty details of their first, utterly disastrous romps in the sack. So, we figured, why not carve out a special corner for this hot mess?

Check it out 👉 NOT A VIRGIN

Spots left: 90
#naughty #firsttime #fail #spillthetea

D21. About a month back, I got roped into a wild ride with my bestie and a couple of her shady acquaintances. Two of them, total strangers, and somehow, after cruising around, we ended up in a damn sauna, of all places. We were already half-sloshed, the night a blurry mess of laughter and bad decisions. Long story short, I ended up screwing one of the guys in the heat of the moment.

Fast forward to now—I took a test, and guess what? It’s positive. Too late to back out with an abortion, the window’s slammed shut. As for that guy, no dice—he’s already crawled back to his ex, leaving me high and dry.

Now I’m stuck mulling over whether to slink back to my old flame, the one I had a long, messy history with. He’s got health issues, can’t have kids of his own, which might work in my favor. We could play happy family, but I’m torn—do I spill the ugly truth about this mess, or keep my trap shut and hope for the best?

😐-Dump the kid in an orphanage once it’s born
👍🏻-Shack up with the ex and fake it
😢-Go solo and raise the little gremlin myself
#unexpectedpregnancy #baddecisions #lifechoices #drama

Back when we were just 12, the craze for those squishy little water beads—orbz—hit us hard. One kid rocked up with a massive bag of 'em, and we figured, why not spice things up? We started chucking those slippery suckers out of a third-floor window, aiming for chaos. For a solid 15 minutes, we missed every damn shot. So, I thought, screw it, let’s up the ante—I grabbed a rock and hurled it. Boom! Dead on target. Next thing we know, some old geezer downstairs is screaming bloody murder and cussing like a sailor.

Curiosity got the better of us, so we peeked out to see the damage. Big mistake. The old man stormed out, shotgun in hand, hunting for the little shits responsible. His eyes locked on my buddy—the one who brought the orbs—and without a second thought, he blasted him right in the ass with rock salt. Poor bastard never hung out with us again after that. Arka, man, I’m sorry as hell. 😥
#childhoodchaos #epicfail #shotgungrandpa #sorrybro